Fight or Flight in Personal Relationships

A difficulty comes to you, and you run away immediately afterward, being a coward just because you don’t have enough confidence. Yeah, does that sound familiar to you? If so, you should start thinking about quitting your fears. Some people in life are kind to everybody, and some others are the ones that are full of bitter feelings, that they can't even deal with themselves. But that is not the problem. The deal is when the time comes to meet them in person, at your neighborhood, school, the gym, wherever you could go, you can fall into meeting people that could be toxic for you. Maybe you see them having friends and living just fine with others, but suddenly you notice that they have become a pain in your butt without a reason. I’ve had to treat with this kind of people, (and most of us I’m pretty sure) since I was a kid. People that just don’t like something about you, and they not even bother in knowing a bit about how you really are, before they start acting like they were born just to go against you, and they really awake the brave feeling to avoid or face them in one way or another. In this blog entry first, I’ll talk about how toxic people behave and interact; secondly, I will suggest what can be done to live your life without the need of falling in their manipulation; and thirdly, I’ll talk about how self-esteem, being confident of yourself and not fearing to face them can help you to live in your strongest version of yourself.

Too many things to be said from me, but I’ll start with the following: How toxic people really are. We have heard that this generation is made out of crystal. Youth that has grown with technology or an easy way of living, being pampered by their overprotective parents. Parents are not the same as before, and they've raised their child’s effortless and without love. Nowadays, we can see that giving the result of finding a lot of kinds, teens and adults being completely dumbs for living life like it is supposed to be lived: with maturity and having their feet on the ground. That effect has led to have people in our social circles, without any type of empathy whatsoever, manipulators, liars, with conditional love. Toxic people are only interested in getting from you what they think they need: money, attention, goods, social position, and rarely sometimes love. They can use you for any type of benefit, but what if you don’t give them what they really want, or they don’t see you as someone valuable? Or they can’t feed their ego through you? Then they will see you as a competitor and if you are an innocent lamb they will devour your soul like the most horrible predator. They could be friendly at the very beginning, but inside they are planning how to betray you when they have the opportunity, if they can see a benefit in doing so.

Other pattern is people that just live bothering others that they see inoffensive, and they find relief in bothering them because they are really empty inside. There is no love, there is no happiness, they’ve lived so many bad experiences to feel love for others, and the feeling that has replaced their inner love is:  anger, hate and depression. But you shouldn’t feel worried about it, if you live your life knowing who you really are, knowing your skills, gifts, etc. Loving your friends and family is enough to get rid of the feeling of putting your attention on them. Know yourself, look yourself in the mirror, and say to yourself:  you have lived until here surviving many circumstances that have been hard and painful. You are brave enough to face this kind of people in your life. Raise your self-esteem, don’t let them provoke feelings and look at them in their eyes, and they will feel that your legs are not shaking because of a meaningless shabby human.

Others’ opinion doesn’t and shouldn’t ever define who you really are. They don't live with you or have lived your experiences or achieved your goals. I used to live in the past like, if somebody’s opinion was so important to me, to later changing my behavior and mindset just to please them. It’s been enough. Now I’m on a stage of my life to demonstrate to myself that nothing is impossible with the help of our almighty God that take cares of us all the whole time.

My relationship with God has been so important to me, so I am able to say that he is my savior, and he really defines who I am: a son of God. What really matters to me, is to live a life according to my beliefs and who really God wants me to be: A brave man that pursuits his dreams. A man that stands out and that can face any type of fear. So, if God is with me, who’s against me? Nobody. This is also something that has gone with me all my life and had let me stop thinking about external opinions and just focusing on mine and heaven’s.

To conclude, just live your life, stop being a pain for others (because it is not only stupid, you are killing your possibilities of true happiness) and start being a helpful source for yourself, developing your inner strength and seeking for your happiness instead of living other's life’s and live yours with the help of our God that is with us all the time.